There are times when I’m thinking too much. And when I say too much that involves many things from the past, the present and of course what will happen in the future. And I couldn’t deny that it stresses me as well. One thing though is the thought that my baby is turning four in two months. And that I am already in Finland for almost five years now. Time goes too fast and that means I’m also getting older and older.
When I got pregnant with her I was very sure that we will not be having another baby until she will be four or five. I was so certain that it was a good gap for siblings as I noticed how difficult it is to raise a child especially if the age gap is small. Well, that was my belief because I knew how it feels when there’s too many kids in the family. I have four siblings and I am the middle. And I saw how difficult it was for my parents especially sending three college students at same time to expensive universities. That was in my mind and so I thought that I don’t like many babies in my life. And that one is enough or that second baby will be after five years or so.
Lately, I realized that my baby girl is lonely because she is alone and she has no one to play with. I realized that we are in Finland and not in the Philippines. I was worried about something that I shouldn’t be worried about. I realized that it would have been nice if Rianna has a sibling to play with so she won’t be the only child in the house. There should be second or third baby now. But now it’s too late for that.
My friend and I were talking about this. Back home we always have someone to ask to look after the kids. Or that anytime we can always visit our neighbors or relatives if we want to. In this case, kids will always have playmates anytime of the day. Here however is quite different. Rianna only have someone to play with when she is in daycare or when her friend Ronja (my friend’s daughter) came for a visit. Of course her father and I played with her too, but it’s different when she has someone to play who has same age as her. I wish that my friend and I were neighbors or that we have some fiends who have kids same age as Rianna who lives nearby. It would have been really nice.
She goes to daycare three times per week. For me it wasn’t enough. If only it’s not that expensive sending her to daycare, full time would be perfect. It’s better for her to have playmates every day. I believe it will also develop her oral skills as she doesn’t speak so well yet. She will become independent, confident and of course she will gain friends.
She will be the only child as of now. I have my family planning for three years. At least for me to finish the language course and hopefully to finish the ammatti as well. Three years would be enough to do what I have to do and then when I find a job someday I can make more babies. That is if I’m not too old for that. :)
Right now, I will focus on my studies and Rianna as my first priority. She will continue going to daycare and hopefully she goes there everyday. She will be the only child now, and probably will have a baby sister or brother when she is seven or eight. Do you think it’s too late for that?
